They’ve changed our diapers. They’ve taken us back-to-school shopping. They’ve decorated Christmas trees and stuffed turkeys every year.
But would you want them to find your mate, too?
According to a story on NBC’s “Today,” many Japanese parents are playing matchmakers for their children who are past the generally accepted marrying age.
Consider this: A government report from 2005 showed 71.5 percent of men aged 25 to 29 were unmarried compared with 47.1 percent in 1990. For women, 32 percent from 30 to 34 years of age were single, compared with half that number in 1990.
So parents are panicking, flocking to mass matchmaking events to help their children settle down.
It’s not uncommon for parents — especially our well-intended moms — to make casual suggestions, even stage dinners with a special invited guest, as their way of playing Cupid. But for them to attend matchmaking events or seminars, that seems a little too far.
What is it about marriage that makes people freak out? And why are we — as a society — so obsessed with getting married?
I’m lucky. My parents have never, ever asked me, “When are you going to get married?” or nagged about grandchildren. They let us live our lives. (Besides, my mom doesn’t want to get stuck with babysitting duties every time the surf comes up!)
She’d never step in and fix me up on a date. Sure, she’s made suggestions — marry rich! — but that’s about it.
But I wonder: When could parents cross the line? How much help is too much? And when should parents just let go?
While most Honolulu residents say they support the city’s $3.7 billion commuter rail, nearly half — 47 percent — of those who responded to the poll don’t expect to ride it regularly. Another 12 percent said they were somewhat unlikely to use it.
What does that say about our commitment to using alternative transportation? Or more specifically, our apathy toward paying more than $4 a gallon in gas?
Sure, we complain about gas prices, cringing at the numbers climbing on the gas pump and wishing you had bought that Toyota Prius or invested in Exxon Mobil stock.
But when it comes time to do something about — meaning, swap our gas-guzzling SUVs and take the bus or ride a bike instead — we can’t seem to do it.
Oh, but the time will come. The city expects mass-transit ridership to increase to 7. 4 percent of total transit trips in 2030, up from 6.1 percent projected if the commuter rail line isn’t built.
So there will be a breaking point. Later, rather than sooner.
He argues that higher gas prices are actually beneficial, boosting public transit use, decreasing traffic on our roadways and reducing air pollution enough to prevent 2,200 respiratory-related deaths over the last year:
If the U.S. were to slowly jack up gas taxes until we’re in the $8 range, life would be better. We’d not only be safer and have reduced greenhouse-gas emissions, we’d probably be happier too. Studies show that the only thing that consistently increases personal happiness is social interaction; high gas prices have led to real estate prices falling faster in suburbs and exurbs than in cities, so we may soon have more content downtown-dwellers. Those same studies show that the thing that makes people least happy is commuting, and telecommuting is way up this year. We could use the tax revenue to fund public transportation. And we’d go back to the days when driving a car was a way to show people what a rich jerk you were. In other words, we would no longer need SUVs for that.
What do you think? Higher gas prices are a blessing in disguise? Or will Hawai’i residents continue to buck the national trend and remain locked in their gas-dependent automobiles regardless of how much it costs?
Because we all could definitely use a break from the stress!
Here are a few items — that I’ve summarized — from Tierney’s list:
• Killer hot dogs: A recent study reported that people on low-carb, unrestricted calorie diets consumed more saturated fat — the kind in hot dogs — than the group that cut back on both fat and calories. And guess what? The former group still lost more weight — and had lower cholesterol levels — than the latter.
• Your car’s planet-destroying A/C: Hard to believe but true: the aerodynamic drag from opening the windows cancels out any fuel savings from turning off the A/C.
• Carcinogenic cellphones: There’s no definitive evidence proving cell phones’ non-ionizing radiation causes cancer. (But driving while talking on one is a definite risk.)
• Evil plastic bags: According to the Environmental Protection Agency, paper bags aren’t better for the environment than plastic bags. In fact, plastic bags require much less energy and greenhouse emissions to manufacture, ship and recycle.
• Deadly sharks: You’ve heard the saying: You’re more likely to get struck by lightning than killed by a shark. Throughout the world last year, there was a grand total of one fatal shark attack (in the South Pacific), according to the International Shark Attack File at the University of Florida.
So here are my additions to the list of things NOT to worry about:
• “Drainers”: There are people who “drain” more than “fill” your life. You don’t need to be around people who suck everything outta you. You can’t always fill other people; you need to be filled, too.
• Your thighs: Just appreciate the fact that you have them. They move us, they help us balance and stand, they’re the mechanism with which we leave the office every day. So rejoice! You have thighs! Who cares what shape they’re in as long as they work!
• What everyone else has: It’s so easy to get caught up with what everyone else has. A new car, that great job, the boyfriend who cooks dinner and washes dishes — without being asked. But, as the cliche goes, the grass is always greener. Be happy with your green pasture.
Most everyone knows about the off-the-menu items you can order at In-N-Out, a burger chain that still hasn’t landed here.
But there are a few more “secret menu” items not on the list the restaurant acknowledges on its Web site.
For example, you can order The Flying Dutchman, which is two beef patties, two slices of cheese and that’s it. No lettuce, no onions, not even a bun. Or — my favorite — the animal-style fries (well done), which is crispy-fried french fries with the restaurant’s secret sauce, onions and cheese. And you can’t forget about the neopolitan shake, which my sister discovered last year. It’s a shake with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream swirled — not blended — together.
But I didn’t realize other chain restaurants have so-called “secret menus,” too.
Starbucks, for example, offers something called a “Short Coffee,” which is coffee — or any hot beverage — served in the same cup as the kid’s hot chocolate. Or the “Red Eye,” which is a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso added. (Two shots and it’s called the “Black Eye.”)
My sister just told me about another “secret” drink she discovered at Starbucks. Order a strawberry-and-creme frap with a pump of hazelnut and another of toffee nut. The result: a drink that taste uncannily like the Crunch Berries in Cap’n Crunch cereal!
Jamba Juice, apparently, has an entire secret menu of smoothies too unhealthy for its menu. Here are the ones I could find on the Internet: Red (or Green or White) Gummy Bear, Sourpatch Kid, Strawberry Shortcake Berry Depressing, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Fruity Pebbles, Skittles, Push-Pops and Starburst.
Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon computer science professor who became best known for his “Last Lecture” vid on YouTube and a best-selling book by the same name, died today of pancreatic cancer. He was 47. (Read more in USA Today here.)
Millions of people — his vid got more than 3 million hits alone — have been inspired by his lecture, his words and his life. Though he never intended the general public to hear his lecture — delivered on Sept. 18, 2007 — his words of wisdom will now live on.
Jai and Randy Pausch, and their children Logan, front left, Dylan and Chloe. USA Today.
Some of his advice:
“Never underestimate the importance of having fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day because there’s no other way to play it.”
“We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand. If I’m not as depressed as you think I should be, I’m sorry to disappoint you.”
