How forgiving are you, really?
October 7th, 2008 by CatOn Dec. 10, 2003, the Whitaker family of Sugar Land, Texas, returned home from dinner. Their oldest son, Bart, had just graduated from college. His father, Kent, gave him a Rolex watch.
When they opened the door, Tricia and her youngest son, Kevin, were immediately shot in their chests by a gunman who had been waiting inside the house. Kent ran to the door to see what had happened and was shot in the shoulder. Bart, who ran into the living room, was also shot — in the arm.
Bart called 911.
His mom, Tricia, and his brother, Kevin, both died. His father, Kent, survived.
While he was in the hospital, Kent promised he would forgive the person who killed his wife and son.
Little did he know then that the gunman was the roommate of his oldest son, Bart.
Bart had hired him to kill his entire family so he could have his inheritance. (He was convicted and is currently on death row.)
How could he forgive a son who would kill his own mother and brother?
Yet Kent, who penned the chilling "Murder By Family," did. (Read the review in the Houston Chronicle here.)
Forgiveness — and Kent's story — was featured on yesterday's "Oprah." And it made me think.
Could I forgive someone who murdered my own family?
I mean, I have a hard enough time forgiving the ex-boyfriend who cheated on me in high school.
Could you do it? Could you forgive someone for doing something as atrocious as that?
***
Puppy Update
She looks like a reindeer to me! Maybe Rudy?
Still no name. But thanks to everyone who submitted names! There were some really adorable — and crazy — names. I have no idea how parents name children! I'll keep you posted!
Her new favorite place. Just like Mommy!
Tags: book, hawaii, Kent Whitaker, Murder By Family, Oprah, Sugar Land, Texas, toth
October 6th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I'm not sure if I could forgive something like that. That's a tough story. So I'd rather not speculate, and I prefer not to be in a situation like that.
Hope you're doing fine contemplating the name......
October 7th, 2008 at 6:19 am
Of course I could not forgive anything like that.
Also Cat marry me, i won't cheat on you
October 7th, 2008 at 6:38 am
ooooooooooookay......
October 7th, 2008 at 7:01 am
I'd rather not even think about that situation. I've forgiven in the past but there are limits I'd rather not see tested.
Cute puppy! I too didn't have a name for my dog at first and got into an odd situation at the vet. They asked me what his name was and I was like 'Uh....Colt?' That was the first name I thought of cause UH had just beaten Boise St. (last season). His name is now 'Brody' because my wife watches The Hills and is infatuated with Brody Jenner....
October 7th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Before concluding, I had to go to the dictionary and look up "forgive." In the sense of discontinuing ill will or resentment, yes, I could and have done this. We only harm ourselves by carrying this around with us.
The other meaning of foregiveness has to do with pardon or foregoing payment of a debt. Can I imagine, as a murder victim's immediate family member, going before a parole hearing and advocating for release, perhaps with the further offer of my taking the released killer into my home - no way. Full forgiveness goes this far, and perhaps Kent could; I cannot today. Maybe someday.
"My human soul is never so strong or noble as when I forego revenge and dare to foregive an injury." (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)
October 7th, 2008 at 8:29 am
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being Jesus. I am a definite 1.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 am
if forgiving helps Kent cope with the sitch then hey......good for him.
i seriously doubt that i could.
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hows about DiDi or DD.....y'know......for Daily Dish.
nah.....but for reals.....she looks like a Sam or Sammy.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:51 am
I'm reminded that "to err is human... forgiveness divine..." I don't think I'd be able to forgive something of that magnitude but in everyday transgressions I try to forgive, sure I might get upset for a few minutes, but I'll forgive most things in life... hey I even forgave the guys who screamed into my ear at the top of their lungs which has since given me substantial hearing loss at the age of 26... So can we forgive? Yes I think we can, but we NEVER, EVER forget...
about your doggie (SHE'S SO CUTE!!!) how's about "Scruffy" or since you said she looks kinda like a reindeer, how's about "Olive" y'know like "Olive the other reindeer"? ...okay that was kinda corny, but c'mon I know you chuckled at least a little... no?? okay then...
Hope you're all having a great day!
NEO(waiting for the boss)
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 am
WHOA..... I cannot even begin to imagine being in this situation. The dad has a really big heart to forgive his son for killing his family, and paying someone to kill them all for MONEY???? Much less after just giving him a stupid Rolex? Spoiled brat! Sick, spoiled brat. Huh, and the roomie?? Like for reals.... hey, kill my family and I split some of the money with you???? What the......I think I'd have to turn that roomie in, if I had been asked that!
I've forgiven in the past (but cannot FORGET), but not for anything as awful as this! Wow, bless this dad.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Forgiveness is something one human being does for another, so it's not an issue here. Not every creature walking on two legs among us, carrying a driver's license and wearing a watch is a human being. Bart is no different than Opal Sao's pit bull- just a soulless creature of opportunity, and as the dog, he should be put down.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:57 am
it takes someone really strong to forgive something like that. i'm sure there is a place in heaven waiting for Kent.
man thats a cute puppy.........and a comfortable looking couch!!!!!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:59 am
I was always taught compassion and forgiveness ... but I am not Jesus ... I am human ... I really don't know how I would react ... and pray I'm never in that situation.
Cat ...
Maybe if I repeat my suggestion enough, it will grow on you ... SPICE, SPICE, can be SPICE girl, or SPICY ...
Well, that's okay. She does look like a reindeer, but Rudy sounds more like a boy. Maybe Ruby instead. More feminine. You know, she's like the jewel in your eyes. Sorry, I'm rambling on here.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I admit that I tend to hold a grudge...in the case of this family, I don't know if I could forgive. If it happened today, I can't say I'd be able to forgive tomorrow.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Dog's name!!!!
How about Sunshine ...nothing wrong with having a little bit of sunshine everyday for sure
Pā-ʻana-a-ka-lā On days your feeling native
Hikage to match up with the land of the rising sun
October 7th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Cat, perhaps you should forgive that highschool ex. one less thing for your soul to carry.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
as for your dog's name... how about "Lilo"?
October 7th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
SPICE? SPICE?
No?..ok...I'm off my acronym for her name...but I have one last name suggestion...
CINNAMON
Kinda ties in to my SPICE hangup, but also her color. CINNAMON just pops in my mind when I look at her.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
that dog looks kinda like an ewok...
October 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
How about Fawn, Faun, Bambi, or Fauna?
October 7th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I didn't watch the whole show last night, but it blew me away that in addition to forgiving his son, that he could continue to live in the house that his family was killed in. There would be too many painful memories.
How about Misha? Or how about a food name? Sushi? Poke? Miso?
Tako?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Before we automatically dismiss carrying a grudge as bad, let's look at how it can potentially help us:
-If the anger you're holding onto isn't of a severe, life-destroying level, it can actually help by keeping you determined to never let this kind of thing happen to you again (whatever bit is under your control). You'll be safer in the future for all your diligence.
-Getting mad at an injustice reassures you of your own self worth. How *dare* anyone do this to you. You didn't deserve this. No one deserves this. To forgive hints at the notion that what happened is permissible.
-If you can't sustain a certain level of anger at something, how can you ever sustain happiness at something? It goes both ways. If you convince yourself that X (bad) doesn't matter so why stay mad, you can just as easily convince yourself that Y (good) doesn't matter either so why be happy about it? I'd rather live life feeling all of its ups and downs rather than trying to manipulate my natural reactions to it. Having said that, I think you should definitely control your actions (i.e., don't seek out revenge), because they can hurt others and yourself, but I don't think you should necessarily try to control how you feel about something.
I'm not saying holding a grudge is THE ANSWER, but let's consider all sides of an issue.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Lucy -
You can do a Ricky Ricardo impersonation when you are calling the dog, "Hey Looooseeee!"
Or an Ethel, "Aw, Loosee!"
No one today will have that name unless there's an elderly lady in your neighborhood with that name. Then you're !@#%$.
Forgiving, always; forgetting, never.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I agree with TChahng "Lucy"!