Where's the 'neighbor' in 'neighborly'?
January 6th, 2009 by CatI walk my dog nearly every day around my neighborhood.
I have a few routes. But the one I take most often leads me to the front lawn of a rude neighbor.
He set up a motion-activated water sprinkler to keep dogs off his manicured lawn. That's fine. But the sprinkler is activated by anyone walking on the sidewalk and the water spray reaches into the street. Meaning, you can't walk in front of his house — on the public sidewalk — without getting hit with a blast of cold water.
Rude, rude, rude.
(He said he's since adjusted the spray, but I got hit again yesterday.)
I've lived in several different neighborhoods, from Kalihi Valley to 'Aina Haina. And there are rude neighbors everywhere. People who don't pick up their dog poop. People who don't clean up after their New Year's Eve celebrations. People who schedule band practice — rock band, to be specific — at 11 p.m.
What ever happened to being neighborly?
My girlfriend has the worst neighbors, a bunch of young coeds who don't seem to understand the landlord's policy on no pets, no partying, no trashing the house.
They moved into a quiet neighborhood near Pauoa last semester, hosting all-night parties (with alcohol despite none of the tenants being over 21) and completely disregarding their neighbors. Their friends park in the neighbors' driveways, they dump their trash everywhere, one even backed into a neighbor's garage and now doesn't want to pay for the damages.
So what's a good neighbor supposed to do?
Got any bad neighbor stories to share? Any advice?
Tags: bad neighbors, hawaii, neighborly, rude, toth
January 6th, 2009 at 4:44 am
cat.....you should take sunny's doo-doo and toss it right in his yard. maybe he'll turn the spray down when he has to pick up dog "cigars" from his nice grass.
i have a neighbor that lives across the street from us. young kid.........all of 22 years old. he came into some money from a lawsuit which helped him purchase the house a few years ago. nothing but issues with him ever since he moved in....from the loud muffler on his car...loud parties....barking pitbulls......garbage left out in his yard.....frequent visitors that come and go until the wee hours of the night. everyone living around the area are working adults who bust their okole to pay a good chunk for their mortgage....not to mention home owner association dues. we are lucky enough to live in a nice neighborhood within a golf course. variety of younger and older families populate the area. everyone does their share at trying to keep everything clean and family friendly. i've been trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt....thinking about how i was at that age. God....he's 22......and a homeowner......i don't know if i could have balanced the 2. a few weeks ago......all my patience with him went out the window for good when i was walking my dog @ 8 in the morning. out of his house....a female came running out.....hysterically crying....lip busted open.....nose bloodied, eye swollen. turns out, she was his girlfriend who stopped by to give him an "i love you" card......and stumbled upon him with another girl....in the shower. whooooo......took alot out of me not to bj penn his face when i saw what he did to her. stayed with her until law enforcement responded......which after they took my statement....i left. needless to say that a good number of us are going to petition the home owners association to do something. time for them to put our dues into action. we shall see.
January 6th, 2009 at 6:23 am
No major problems with neighbors. Been here for over 20 years and most of us on the street are original homeowners and have nothing but respect for each other. In fact, we have house keys for a couple of neighbors for emergency purpose and another leave their keys with us when they go on vacation. Our next door neighbor is like family and walks in our house anytime...no problem. The other next door neighbor is a rental but we have been lucky with no serious issues. I think the management person, who we know, has been very good at screening renters. Most of the renters have been military couples who we get to know and some we still communicate with via email.
January 6th, 2009 at 6:51 am
CAT,
One of the key criteria for selection of a home is the complexion of the neighborhood. Looking at the potential neighbors' yards, garages, paint condition of the house, cars, etc. will give you a clue to their personality. If anyone saw my house, they would decide not to buy. They would consider me a "nay bore"......
January 6th, 2009 at 7:09 am
I lived in the same neighbor all my life. Seen neighbors grow old and pass away. But all in all, it's a friendly neighborhood. Only problems is with the kids harassing the dogs in the yards. Don't they know, dogs WILL remember them? Several times Dogs got loose and those kids had to book it with the dogs on their heels
We do have a neighbor, don't know if he works, but has 2 Big Plasma Screen TV delivered AND installed on the same day., Hummer H2, Nice House w/wrought iron gate. People coming and going all night long. Could be legit, I don't know. As long as they don't make trouble, I'm cool.
January 6th, 2009 at 7:33 am
I don't know if he does it anymore because we installed air conditioning and sleep with our windows shut, but one of my neighbors used to watch internet porn before he went to sleep EVERY night. It was very, very loud, including the "end." Then you would hear the computer being shut down and it would be quiet.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:42 am
I had a situation similar to your friend in Pauoa. I used to live next to renters who constantly had parties in their backyard. When they initially moved in I tolerated the loud noise, but when it turned into a weekly event it was then time to draw the line. Along with the blaring music, scattered trash and unauthorized parking it became a public nuisance. Time to gather the neighbors and exercise discreet vigilantism.
On those nights when there was a party we all called the police after 10pm, which is the normal time for noise restriction in a city. The cops came and scolded them but after they left the party proceeded. We did this for a couple weekends with no results. Don’t believe the police when they say their hands are tied and there is nothing they can do. The majority of cities have “general noise regulations” written in the municipal code to define the right of peace and quiet for its residents. It is the responsibility of the police to uphold these laws no matter how trivial they may seem. In this case it was time to move to Plan B.
The owners of this property resided out of the area, thus we all decided to inundate them with letters, and in some cases photographic evidence, of their tenant’s destruction. Since I work in real estate this information was readily available; but it’s also part of public records that regular folks can access. Along with “allegations” of illegal activity; drug use, underage drinking and possible firearm possession, it was our intention to get the owner’s attention of the potential liabilities. I have never met any landlord who appreciates having their “investment” trashed no matter what amount of rent they are collecting. Also, no landlord wants to hear the word “lawsuit.”
Sure enough the following week during one of their late night festivities the owner shows up and tells them they have just voided the rental contract. Two weeks later they were gone.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Cindy, I'm so sorry that I lol'd at your post
January 6th, 2009 at 8:51 am
I live in an apartment building and we have one tenant whom I've dubbed "the hall monitor". He complains to the landlord about everything--from people cutting in front of him to use the washer/dryer (when he's had his laundry pile on the table to hours) to the neighbors walking too loudly up and down the stairs. Never mind that his two dogs are the noisiest dogs in the building-they bark at everything and the hall monitor absolutely has to walk his dogs at midnight. AND he doesn't pick up his dog's mess when he thinks no one is looking.
I've always had the philosophy that since I rent, there are certain things I have to put up with, within reason, of course. I understand there will be the occassional party or late night. I'm not going to complain about that. I try to get along with my neighbors. But then again, I never see my neighbors-I've lived in the same apartment for three years and I only know the hall monitor (and everyone knows him in the building) and the lovely old lady who lives downstairs from me.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:58 am
My next door neighbors house is 10 feet from ours, like many in Honolulu. Young kids moved in last year and they have had some parties, fights, etc. They have since chilled out, and the owner only cuts his "grass" twice a year. Every month I go along the fence line and pull the weeds that come into my yard and throw them back at his house.
The biggest motivating factor for moving to the mainland this year is more space. I just can't stand living in this town anymore for many reasons. Here's my day-leave small house, get on busy freeway, work in close quarters, get back on busy freeway, walk my dogs in busy park surrounded by homeless people, back to small house and make sure tv isn't too loud as to disturb my nieghbors. Maybe I'll go to the beach and clear a 5 x 5 spot for my okole this weekend? Sorry, rant.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:01 am
you should call the ombudsman. no one can restrict public sidewalks.
January 6th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I have a very rude neighbor, who thinks he is the Godfather. He is always dropping "F" bombs at his 3 yr. old daughter, his mother-in-law, and his wife. On top of that I have elderly parents and he constantly slams his car stereo to the point where our windows are chattering and we can't even hear our televsion. He and his friends constantly park in other peoples yards and then go speeding off. It seems like he doesn't even have respect for his neighbors. My neighbors and I don't know what to do, he simply does what he wants with no care in the world about his neighbors. I've spoken to the police to ask what we can do, and they tell me to call the police. But after a couple calls they stop showing up. I know I shouldn't let others behaviors bother me so much but what can I do?
January 6th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Cindy, I wanna party with your neighbor, lol!
Back in the day, my father used to put out our rubbish cans every Monday and Wednesday night for next day pickup. These were the old metal cans with the lid on top.
Every night, the neighbor's two cats would jump on the cans, knock the cans over and leave trash all over our yard. Got so bad, the rubbish guys wouldn't even touch the cans if had rubbish all over the place.
My dad asked over and over again for the neighbor to do something about the cats. He pleaded with them. Asked nicely. Asked meanly. They'd ignore him.
Finally, one day, the cats mysteriously disappeared. Don't know what happened, but my dad was very good at building cat traps. (No worries, Pop was a catch and release guy.)
Neighbor came over, asked if we had seen his cats, my dad gave him back his own medicine. "We don't know nothing about it. Wasn't us."
What could the neighbor say? It's exactly what he had been telling us, even though we'd catch his cats making the mess.
Not long after, the neighbors sold their house and moved a couple towns over. Probably wanted to get out before there were more mysterious disappearances...
January 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
"He set up a motion-activated water sprinkler to keep dogs off his manicured lawn."
That guy is my hero, provided he keeps the spray to his lawn and not the sidewalk.
January 6th, 2009 at 10:40 am
This is a great blog to rant.
I live in Kapolei, which is a great place, and I do have pretty decent neighbors, for the most part. The more seasoned neighbors are really good, but its the ones that come and go that suck. The street I live on has cul-de-sacs on both ends of the street and I live at one end. The opposite end has a "polynesian" family that thinks they own the entire sac! They park their cars all over the place, and have basically taken over the neighborhood. I feel sorry for the families that live on that side of the street. I have one neighbor that just needs to park in a no parking area, which partially blocks access to my driveway. I can still get in and out, but I have to maneuver around his truck. Across the street on the other side, I have a younger man in his early 20's that just has a lot of parties and play music loud. He also has friends that come and visit and they park their cars outside of my house and leave their stereos pounding. I have had to go talk to them on more than one occasion, and it has gotten a lot better. Another neighbor has kids, young kids, that run WILD. But over all, not bad.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:08 am
my neighbor on the same floor accused me of entering her apartment while she was out. According to her, things were "moved." Nothing stolen as far as she's concerned. Even had a friend of her change her locks. Another incident, microdots were partying 4 floors below us, and the next day, she filed a complaint with the manager that I was making all that racket even though I've never been know to play music, period. You just don't know how fortunate you are with neighbors who are simply rude. Instead of nut cases. It starting to get very very irritating.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:15 am
I used to live in an apartment building. It's tough being in such close-quarters. Especially when you don't have air-conditioning and have to keep your windows open at all times. We had recycling bins out in the parking lot. There was this one lady who always insisted on taking out her GLASS recyclables early Sat morning - doesn't she realize that not everyone is a morning person? And, I mean, she wouldn't just take her bottles out and quietly place them in the bin. She would flip her rubbish can over and EMPTY the bottles into the bin. She did the same thing with her aluminum cans. Oh, as you might have guessed, my window faced the parking lot
January 6th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Now, I'm lucky enough to be in a house and very thankful to have good neighbors - aside from the occasional dog poop in our yard. One of our neighbors is so awesome - she voluntarily brings in our rubbish can on pickup day
January 6th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Growing up in Waiau, we had all the same neighbors growing up and it was pretty mellow.
Here in Panaewa, our house is set back from the street, behind a couple houses, so it's really nice and private. And behind us, there's this huge drop and zero houses down there for a couple acres. So waking up to the view of Mauna Kea out back is sick! (as my students would say). Personal space is a definite benny here on the Big I.
In all, I've been blessed with good neighbors.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Cat,
I sympathize about the dog poop. We have a dog and pick up after him whenever we go walking. But there are those idiots who take their dogs to poop in the park so they don't have to clean it up in their yards. We always carry spare poop bags and hand one to those offenders with a "friendly" reminder that we all share the park. I've even had to demonstrate how to do it with a rock then hand them a bag while I hung around waited for them cuz I knew that they would leave without picking up as soon as I walked away.
Many years ago, when we were renting, we had a neighbor who started using power tools beginning at 8pm. Power tools! It wasn't just a little cordless drill to put up a few shelves - table saw, miter, and router. He would work till midnight or later. We were living next to Bob Vila's evil twin.
I used to feel hesitant about calling the police, like I was overreacting. No more. His rude behavior was a detriment to the entire community. Once I could hear the policeman scolding him over the sound of his power tools. It took a few incidents and a few calls to the police before he got the message.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Unlike some of you, I've got a neighbor who is WAY TOO friendly. The dude lives in the building across the street from mine. Apparently we're on the same time schedule because practically every day when I get home from work I can expect to see him exercising on his treadmill, which is situated right next to the wide open window. Now, I'm all for exercising and healthy living but this dude is exercising in the buff! I've had some debates with friends as to whether or not he is really nude (some say he could have on speedos or beige-colored shorts), but I'm pretty sure they don't make skin-colored shorts that don't wrinke or crease in any way when you walk right?
January 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@Scott - depends on where in the mainland you move to. In San Francisco, your neighbors are usually right next to you and have you seen the homeless on the mainland? At least the weather is nice year round in Hawaii where you CAN go to the beach on the weekend.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
@E, I'm not moving from Honolulu to San Francisco. Trust me.
January 6th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
i live in an apartment complex. what is truly annoying to me, aside from blaring tv/music, is slamming doors. i just dont get it.why do people have to slam doors?just close them,but dont have to slam-em.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
It's too bad you can't chose your neighbors. My next door neighbor feeds the birds early in the morning and the chickens come and starts crowing.
January 6th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Growing up, I lived on a cul-de-sac and the neighbor across from us was an older woman who had nothing better to do than sit in her carport, watch what we're doing and comment LOUDLY to no one about us. I would play with the neighbors who happen to be boys (I'm a girl) and she'd say out loud how girls should not play with boys. It was like living across from Joan Rivers on the red carpet, but a mean Joan Rivers, not a funny one. I hated to go outside. I'd rush from the car inside whenever we came home. To this day, I'm very shy around neighbors now because of that traumatic experience, even though no one has come close to her, thanks goodness.
January 6th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Oh, I guess it is too late to comment on yesterday’s topic. Wanted to mention on how hot Stephanie Lum is. Anyway, as far as the sprinkler neighbor, you have to complain to City and County and mention that you are disabled or are concerned about the disabled going on the sidewalk. If someone was in a wheel chair or using a cane etc. it would be a safety issue. Someone would be quicker to correct the situation.
King Katonk - sorry, just wanted to mention - there is nothing wrong with "firearms possession" for a homeowner - as long it is not on your person, in your car when not going to and from the range/hunting, or owned by a convicted felon.
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I'm pretty lucky, my whole street is really cool; we get along like family. Everyone is a home owner and not renting. I think I'm the only one working, everyone else is retired. We only have local traffic and there is only one car on the street.
If anything, I might be the one to complain about. I dive and fish all my life, so every week I'm cleaning fish outside (blood, guts, smell - you know). But what I do is constantly give my neighbors my catch so they actually are really happy that I live next to them.
One to two times a week I have 6-10 guys coming over to train in MMA in my garage; it's a pretty popular place. It could look pretty intimidating with muscle guys, many with tons of tattoos, and you know - the fighter look. I know we do make noise because we hit the pads, box, and grapple but we never go pass 8pm. My guys are really cool and polite to my neighbors because they know that I would get on them if they weren't.
January 29th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I just moved to Ewa beach, I love my new house, love my street and family is happy. Except for some neighbors who think just because the empty street parking stall is right in front of their house they own it. And god forbid that you break the 24hour parking law, she'll have your car towed..As far for this other neighbor, Kids will be kids. My 12 year old got into a verbal fight with my neighbors' kid and it end up were she hit him in the face. I don't like fighting and I don't allow it, but my neighbor was overreacting alittle too much. They wanted to put her in jail, haha their kid didn't even have a bruise or anything. But instead of being good nice neighbors and talking about and try to come to some kind of solution all they wanted to do was have my child arrested because she was a danger to the public..Whatever!!! No all children tell their parents the truth about what happens and I was about to take this issue lightly with my child but what is having her arrested going to do?? Its not like she does this kind of thing on an everyday event. Some times people need to remember weather we "as your neighbor" socialize with you or not, you still should treat people how you want them to treat you. Now my children are extra careful not to play with the children from those families which is a shame. Kids should not suffer for the stupid things their parents do. But all my other neighbors are cool.