ASK DR. DISH: Too much PDA?
By Cat
Question: So I got an issue with my best friend. She started going out with this new guy and they CAN'T STOP MAKING OUT. It's driving me crazy. I'm not one for PDA, so I don't know if I'm just upset because it's not my thing. But does anyone think PDA is OK??? I have to know.
Answer: Hmm. I guess the first question is, "What's PDA, exactly?"
If holding hands and kissing in public are examples of public display of affection, well, I'm guilty. But I wouldn't do anything in public that I'd be embarrassed to do in front of my parents. And I guess that's subjective, too. (See a photo gallery of the worst celebrity PDA offenders in Glamour.)
In a column in the Albany Times Union published earlier this year, Kristi L. Gustafson wrote about this very topic, quoting Judith Martin — better known as Miss Manners — about a similar question:
Being overly affectionate is "childish and it's silly, and it's not very considerate of others. People do not respond by thinking, 'Isn't it wonderful they are in love?' People are much more likely to laugh or be slightly puzzled."
Martin added that holding hands or giving your partner a quick smooch isn't the PDA in question: "Let's not get silly about this. The public displays of affection that upset people are when people are in a stage of lovemaking. Kissing someone goodbye or congratulating them or dancing close is hardly that sort of thing."
If it bothers you that much, maybe you should tell your best friend. I'm guessing you're close enough to share your opinion without her feelings getting hurt. It's better to say something than resent her later.
So what do you think about PDA? Like it? Hate it? Would you tell your friend to cut it out?
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Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at cat@thecatdish.com.
The Daily Dish
December 16th, 2009 at 2:03 am
Yeah... not a fan of PDA. I consider PDA to be long, open-mouth kisses or groping. Holding hands or a single, quick kiss, etc., hey, no problem there...
If I know the "offenders," I won't hesitate to say, "Get a room!"
December 16th, 2009 at 3:50 am
didt Seinfeld do an episode like this...when Jerry and his the g/f were calling each other "schmoopy" ? George was particually annoyed,Elaine too. Are your friends celebritys? u could take pix and leak them to the National Enquirer. Hec, what's the diff when ya go visit someone's facebook?Probably all kinds of "affectionate" photos there anyways.Unfortunately,in real live there's no delete button to hit.....but u can always just walk away.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:53 am
i think that "bump and grinding dance is a bit more uncomfortable than simple hand holding,no matter how much they dim the lights.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:44 am
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS I AM SURE YOU ARE NOT PERFECT EITHER!..let them do what they please in 10 years they get over that! IN ten years you see SCREAMING ...!
December 16th, 2009 at 4:45 am
what is better kissing or screaming match? if you are not happy with your friend's display YOU go in the middle of the two and kiss them both!
December 16th, 2009 at 4:46 am
I just walk by when people do all sorts o f nonesense...take a picture it last longer!
December 16th, 2009 at 4:48 am
I have a teenager kissins here and there with his girlfriend so I say okay you two I take picutre tilt that way I don't want to see both your nostrils!
December 16th, 2009 at 5:38 am
Depends on how hot they are. I may just stick around during the PDA, iykwim
It could be the highlight of my day.
December 16th, 2009 at 6:18 am
I can handle public holding of hands and the occasional kiss BUT the SUCK FACE and roving hands kind?? eh go get a room.
December 16th, 2009 at 6:38 am
yes camera action....go go...YOU ARE KISSING WRONG then you show them both the right way! MOVE OVER you both suck at it..omg!
December 16th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Good morning Dr. Cat!
Holding hands and a little kiss is fine with me in public but anything more than that should not be in the view of others.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:31 am
@oldshoes
yeah you're right, celebrities do PDA, but I hardly think it is genuine. They KNOW a camera is nearby somewhere, and getting their pics in the tabloids helps them keep "current".
It's a game, and they know how to play it.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:45 am
PDAs? Generally, none of my business. I look at it differently when one of my minor children is involved as an onlooker or more directly. Same goes for PEPs (Public Exclamations of Profanity), which I don't really want my children exposed to.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
XOXOXOXOXO!
December 16th, 2009 at 9:29 am
well my husband and I were dating he wont be seen hodling hands or KISSING..he walk ten miles infront of me..yup...now after 19 years he goes to me you wanna hold my hand I say what for! funny..he says I didn't know couples are suppose to hold hands..HIS PARENTS NEVER SHWO ANY HOLDING HANDS..I told him that 19 years ago couples are suppose to hold hands so I be chasing after him...hey idiot you forgot about me here yup...! Now the fool insist I hold his hands....it looks like he is dragging me he walks too fast!
December 16th, 2009 at 11:57 am
if two hot lesbians can't PDA all they want then the terrorist wins; and we surely don't want that to happen
December 16th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Take their picture and shoot video with your cell phone. If they don't like that, then they can stop.
December 16th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Okay PDA well to me it all depends on what you're doing. Holding hands, a quick peck FINE. But if your basically dry humping each other in public PLEASE SPARE OUR EYES AND GET A DAM ROOM and I'll be the frist to say that if I see any. That's just disgusting.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Some people carry PDA (we used to call it PDP) too far. When Don Ho kissed my wife before the show I had to step in and say: "Hey Don! No tongues!"
December 18th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I like it if they are nice to look at but two ugly butchies or two gay men. no way