There’s no place for people our age to meet other people our age.
We’re not in college — best meeting place for adults, hands down — anymore. We’re over clubs. And that idea we can meet people in line at the grocery store? Yeah, who’s done that?
So here’s some good news for my single friends: Harbor Court Bistro, which occupies the third floor restaurant and bar area of Harbor Court in downtown, is opening today.
I got a sneak peek at the new spot — a venture of Elizabeth Hata Watanabe, owner of The O Lounge — on Friday. And I was thrilled — OK, relieved — that this new spot has the same cool vibe as Palomino, which had a 10-year run in the same space from 1997 to 2007.
Inside the bar area on Friday. It was packed!
And I missed Palomino. (Cassis Restaurant and Wine Bar, which operated there for 10 months, was too expensive and, well, French.) It was comfortable, not pretentious, with good pupus and cocktails. And that’s how Harbor Court Bistro felt, at least on Friday.
The best part was much of the wait staff and bartenders from Palomino — which I thought was a very adult place to meet people — came back.
Two bartenders from Palomino who came back.
Not sure if the bistro will host live music, but the band was a hit on Friday. People actually got up and danced.
Friday’s event was star-studded, at least by Honolulu standards. Actor Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa was there — and occasionally dancing. TV anchors including Diane Ako, Malika Dudley and Jill Kuramoto really upped the cute factor. And several lawmakers — who probably wouldn’t want to be named here — were also in attendance, sans alcoholic drinks.
The restaurant wasn’t serving its full menu — which Watanabe calls “eclectic international” — but here’s what we did have:
The restaurant offers five different pizzas: Hawaiian, Greek, Four Cheese, Chicken Alfredo and Classic Meat Combo. We sampled the latter ($11), which came with pepperoni, Italian sausage and sterling silver beef. Great with beer!
One of its signature pupus is the seasoned soybeans with furikake and mochi crunch. According to the menu, this is only served on the bar side.
We enjoyed the sauteed button mushrooms ($8), which came steaming hot and topped with garlic pepper butter and Parmesan cheese.
We tried the chicken quesadilla with peppers, goat cheese and a fruit salsa. I thought the flavors went well together, but it was a bit dry.
Another pupu favorite: steak fries with a really unusual banana ketchup. Yep, banana. It’s weird at first, but it starts to grow on you.
So if you’re looking for adult conversations without the distractions of go-go girls dancing on bar tables, check out the Harbor Court Bistro. At least you’ll feel like a grown-up among other grown-ups!
Her husband, Broadway mogul Philip Smith, was granted a divorce from his wife yesterday on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment.
Walsh-Smith posted her rant against her husband on YouTube, garnering more than 3 million hits. She talks about their prenuptial agreement, their sex life (or lack thereof), his “evil” family members, and even puts the husband’s assistant on the spot, asking the poor girl (on speakerphone!) what she should do with all the condoms her husband has.
Watch the 6-minute video. It’s riveting.
“I’m fighting back,” Walsh-Smith told viewers, matter-of-factly. “I’m going to do this video and I’m going to put it up on YouTube”
According to the Associated Press, Judge Harold Beeler called the video stunt “a calculated and callous campaign to embarrass and humiliate her husband.”
So instead of getting the apartment in Florida and $500,000 a year for the rest of her life, Walsh-Smith is forced to leave their Park Avenue apartment within 30 days and gets $750,000.
So here’s the question: Knowing what the outcome would be, would she do it again? Would she air her dirty, smelly laundry on YouTube? What did she possibly think she would gain from this?
Completely irresponsible? Or completely entitled? What do you think?
And it comes at such interesting timing, with nasty celeb divorce and cheating allegations in the media: Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, who had an affair with a 18-year-old intern and spent $3,000 a month on Internet porn; Madonna and A-Rod’s alleged affair.
So here’s what he had to say to Dowd, in condensed form:
• “Never marry a man who has no friends. This usually means that he will be incapable of the intimacy that marriage demands.”
• “Does he use money responsibly? Is he stingy? Most marriages that founder do so because of money.”
• “Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to your. It’s good to have a doormat in the home, but not if it’s your husband.”
• “Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings?”
• “Does he have a sense of humor? That covers a multitude of sins.”
• “A therapist friend insists that ‘more marriages are killed by silence than by violence.’ The strong, silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive.”
• “Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him … People are the same after marriage as before, only more so.”
• “Take a good, unsentimental look at his family — you’ll learn a lot about him and his attitude towards women … Is there a history of divorce in the family? An atmosphere of racism, sexism or prejudice in the home? Are his goals and deepest beliefs worthy and similar to yours?”
• “Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being — the willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous? Or is he inclined to be a fibber, to fits of rage, to be a control freak, to be envious of you, to be secretive?”
So what do you think? Do you agree with Connor’s advice? What would you add? Can a celibate priest really know what it takes to be in a successful marriage? And what’s worse: physical or emotional cheating?
A woman I recently met — single and thirty-something — is desperately looking for a nightclub where she can dance, meet cute guys, and not feel like the oldest person in the room.
Then she complained about something that made me actually stop and think: “What’s with the guys? They don’t ask girls to dance. We ended up dancing by ourselves and the guys just watched.”
I’ve noticed that about Hawai’i nightclubs: The women will hit the dance floor — together — and groove while the guys stand around the perimeter and gawk, Heineken in hand.
Is this just a local thing? Or did this only happen at Ocean’s?
I wasn’t sure, so I called a perpetually single guyfriend of mine and asked him, “What gives?”
He said guys actually do ask women to dance — but only after trying to strike up a conversation and maybe getting her to agree to a drink. No way are guys going to just ask someone to dance. And get shot down? In front of his friends? I don’t think so.
The thing is, I’ve never, ever been asked to dance. At least not since the eighth grade! And neither have my girlfriends.
And what’s with the Ninja dancing? Ladies, help me out here: Don’t you head to the dance floor with your gal pals and, somewhere between “Baby Got Back” and “Umbrella,” a guy starts to dance near you, then around you, then right behind you? I never understood why guys think this tactic works. Because with my girlfriends, this has never, ever worked.
And I don’t count that as “asking a girl to dance.”
In his attempt to defend his gender, my guyfriend said men really do ask women to dance, even at nightclubs, even when the girl-on-girl show on the dance floor may be better than trying to get involved. In fact, more times than not, he said, women ask them to dance.
But I (respectfully) beg to differ.
Anyone can prove either of us wrong? I’d love to hear what you all have to say!
***
Some of you have been asking about my relationship — why I’m moving, why I’m talking about empathy, why I’m putting together a list of break-up songs — and, as many of you have pointed out to me, I’ve been avoiding the topic. (You guys are observant!)
So let’s just say, yes, I’m newly single, but I’m not really ready to talk about it just yet. So I apologize if I’ve been avoiding the conversation. (I was!) Thanks for your kind words, your support and, above all, your friendship through this. It’s meant a lot.
Last week a girlfriend of mine told me we — meaning, all women — have to stop being the “Fix-It Girl.”
“‘Fix-It Girl?’” I asked. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“No,” she replied, shaking her head in a way that made me feel like I had the social skills of a sixth-grader. “I’m not talking about women who can change a light bulb. I’m talking about women who try to ‘fix’ men.”
Ah, I know the type.
These are women who take on “projects,” men who have issues or problems they think they can “fix.” Like the guy who’s afraid of commitment. Or the guy who’s suffering from a broken heart. Or the guy who has so much potential but can’t seem to hold down a job.
But here’s the catch: these women aren’t usually the ones these guys end up staying with. No, they get “fixed” and move on. And the next women reaps the benefits of the Fix-It Girl’s hard work.
Does this sound familiar?
I’ve been there. I’ve long been a sucker for guys who need help — the strays, as my friend calls them — and these relationships have never worked out. It’s almost like we end up using each other: I need a project to satisfy my need to save people; they take advantage of my help and compassion. It doesn’t work.
Why do we feel this urge to change our mates? Why can’t we make decisions like, “This guy isn’t right for me” or “I’m not compatible with her.” Why try to shape them into something they’re not? And who says anyone needs to be “fixed” anyway?
